Saturday, December 13, 2014

Some People Say [Fill-In-The-Blank] About You

Sometimes people can do all kinds of mean things to each other in churches, businesses, offices, etc. But one of the simplest yet most aggressive things people do to each other is this statement: "Some people say [fill-in-the-blank] about you." It's a classic move. It's also a classless move. But it's much worse when the person who says that statement refuses to identify who the "some people" are. That means the person is trying to imply that there is a group or mass of people people who thinks a certain way without any kind of direct communication or professional accountability. Without the identification of "some people," those statements are a poison in organizations. At best, those statements are nothing more than gossip. At worst, they are abuse. Seriously. Those statements are only meant to cause injury. And they must be stopped immediately. If the person who makes such statements refuses to identify the "some people," then it's important to say something like: "I hope those people will speak with me directly so we can resolve this situation professionally. Otherwise, I'm going to have to assume that it's not a big enough issue to explore at this time. Is there anything else I can do for you?" That's it. The end. There is nothing more that should be discussed with that person. Well...other than showing them to the door. Then talk to a trusted friend or colleague to process the attack that was just encountered. Plus it might help to go play a round of golf, go for a long jog, or go lift weights. Anyone who encounters such an attack deserves to do something fun!

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